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euthanasia dogs, pet euthanasia
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A Different Grief:  Coping with Pet Loss
Are You Facing The Loss Of A Beloved Pet?
Explore both the myths and the realities surrounding the experience of pet loss, including why it hurts so much and how it differs from other losses in this Self-Healing Expressions email course.







words of comfort in bereavement, sympathy quotes, sympathy poems, poems about sympathy for a death, words of comfort for sympathy, free sympathy poems



















Euthanasia Dogs ~ Pet Euthanasia


A Different Grief: Coping with Pet Loss
    A Different Grief: Coping with Pet Loss

Are you anticipating or mourning the loss of your pet, and surprised and even overwhelmed at the depth of your grief? The lessons in this course are designed both to help you understand and cope with the grief of losing your pet, and to guide you towards meaningful growth, healing and inspiration. Come to a better understanding of the emotional upheaval caused by the shock, disbelief, anger, guilt and sorrow that are commonly experienced when a beloved pet is lost. Learn meaningful ways to memorialize your faithful friend. You deserve to feel comforted, understood and acknowledged as a person in grief, and reassurance that you are normal and healthy in loving your faithful animal friend so deeply.

Learn More Now! [Audio Message by the author]



Dear Marty ~ . . . The Imminent Departure of My Two Little Dogs


Q & A by Bereavement Counselor Marty Tousley

Question: As I sit here contemplating the imminent departure of my two little dogs, I feel I will never be able to cope without them. Next to my mother, they are the dearest things in my life, and I can't bear when the time comes to ask the vet to put them to sleep. I feel like vomiting just now at the mere thought of it, as they are my children. Marty, where will I ever find the courage? I will take their ashes along with me to the grave.

Answer: I'm so sorry to learn of the deteriorating condition of your beloved little dogs and your concern with how to cope with their aging and eventual dying. I can only imagine how awful this must be for you. As you look ahead, you may find yourself experiencing all the emotions of grief in anticipation of losing them. This is known as anticipatory grief, and the physical and emotional reactions involved are the same as those experienced in normal grief. It is extremely difficult to watch your cherished animals' health and quality of life deteriorate over time. If you are thinking about euthanasia, you may be struggling with anxiety over separating from your dogs, uncertain how you'll ever bring yourself to say good-bye. Torn between not wanting to see them suffer and not wanting to lose them, you may continue to go to great lengths to postpone or to avoid the decision all together.

Deciding when and whether to euthanize your cherished dogs is probably one of the most difficult choices you'll ever have to make. But because your dogs are aging may not be reason enough to resort to euthanasia just yet. Exploring all aspects of the decision with your veterinarian and with others whom you trust is very important. Keep in mind, however, that in the end, the decision and the timing belong to you and to you alone.
I also encourage you to keep in mind that if and when you do decide to choose euthanasia for your dogs, your intention will be to relieve their suffering and to create a dignified and painless death for reasons of mercy and compassion.


A Veterinarian Advises How To 'Speak For Spot'

Listen Now   speaker icon   [38 min 55 sec]   NPR

Speaking for Spot: Be the Advocate Your Dog Needs to Live a Happy, Healthy, Longer Life


Speaking for Spot: Be the Advocate Your Dog Needs to Live a Happy, Healthy, Longer Life
By Dr. Nancy Kay

Fresh Air from WHYY, March 19, 2009 · Navigating the world of veterinary medicine can be daunting, but one veterinarian believes she can help. Nancy Kay, a veterinarian with 20 years of experience, is the author of Speaking for Spot: Be the Advocate Your Dog Needs to Live a Happy, Longer Life, a guide that advises dog owners about everything from routine vet visits to euthanasia and chemotherapy.


Like most people considering euthanasia, I suspect that you're already wondering, "How will I know when it's time?" As you come to answer that question, here's what you might want to think about:
  • What is each dog's general health and attitude? (Are they still happy with a zest for life? Miserable? In pain?) Dogs have a remarkable sense of smell, so even the fact that an older dog is blind is not in and of itself an indication that the dog is not happy or able to find his or her way around familiar surroundings.
  • What is the quality of their lives? (Are they still living with dignity?)
  • How much care do they require?
  • Can you afford the costs involved, in terms of time, money and emotional strain?
  • What is their prognosis? (Will more tests, treatments or surgery make them any better? Are there any negative side-effects from such tests or treatments?)
  • How do you feel about euthanasia? (Do you consider it an act of compassion?)
  • Are there any signs from your dogs that they are "ready to go"? Oftentimes our beloved animals have a way of letting us know when it is time. Listen to your dogs' spirits, and follow what your heart and mind tell you to do.
Sometimes people keep their pets alive in order to meet their own needs (to not feel guilty, to not let go) rather than to meet the needs of the pet. Hard as it may be, ask yourself if this could be going on with you.

Most of us find it very difficult to think about planning ahead for the death of our pets. Detaching from a cherished pet is just as difficult whether it happens suddenly or over an extended period of time. But having time to prepare for what lies ahead can be one of the more positive aspects of anticipatory grieving. You can make the most of the time remaining by talking with your veterinarian, family, friends and trusted others about the death of your dogs as a probability (not as a remote possibility). You can also use this time for:
  • Feeling and expressing whatever grief feelings arise.
  • Confronting and sorting out your own basic values and beliefs about death, dying and the afterlife.
  • Thinking about and planning what to do with your dogs' remains after death (keeping in mind what's best for you and your family and what's consistent with your own beliefs).
  • Talking to your veterinarian to clear up any questions or reservations about your dogs' diagnosis, treatment and prognosis.
  • Thinking about and planning a ritual, ceremony or other way of memorializing your dogs.
  • Making your final days with your dogs as special as possible and making treasured memories that will offer you comfort later (e.g. indulging in their favorite activities; taking lots of pictures; taking clippings of their fur; preserving their paw prints).
  • Taking care of yourself while caring for your sick animals (by getting enough nourishment, relaxation, rest and exercise).
As you come to this difficult decision, it's important to think through whatever questions you may have about the actual procedure, so you can discuss your concerns with your veterinarian. When the time comes, you'll be better prepared to use your own good judgment based on the reality of your particular situation.

Think about these questions, then arrange a time to discuss them with your veterinarian:
  • How will the euthanasia be performed? (Usually the animal is injected with a tranquilizer, then an overdose of a sedative.)
  • Where will the euthanasia be done? (Euthanasia can be done at the veterinarian's office, at an animal clinic or at your home. If your veterinarian doesn't provide at-home euthanasia, you can ask for a referral to one who does.)
  • When will the euthanasia be done? (Try to schedule it at a time that's least traumatic for you, and when you can be accompanied by a friend or family member-- especially if driving is involved.)
  • Should your pet be euthanized immediately, or should the procedure be delayed? (It all depends on the individuals involved. It may be easier to get it done while you are certain of the decision, since waiting for the inevitable may be difficult for you. Yet a planned delay can afford you and your pet some time to make the most of your final days together.)
  • Should you be present during the procedure? (You know better than anyone what you feel capable of handling. You should be guided by what makes you feel comfortable and by what you think you can live with later. Some people consider being present as a final demonstration to the pet of their affection, and take comfort in knowing their pet is actually dead and at peace. Others prefer to remember their pet as s/he was, alive and active.)
  • Will it matter to your pets if you are present? (Pets feel more secure in the company of people they know, and pets do not have the awareness of death or the anxiety before death that humans do. An owner's anxiety can be conveyed to both pet and veterinarian, but if the owner is calm, the pet will remain calm also.)
  • What will you do with your pets' remains? (Be aware that you are responsible for arranging what will happen to your dogs' bodies after death. Many options are available, including disposal, cremation, burial and preservation. It would be wise to discuss these options in advance of either of your pet's death, either with your veterinarian or with a representative from a pet cemetery or pet crematory.)
Grief is a natural response to losing someone we love. It also is very hard work, and it shouldn't be done alone. I encourage you to find someone you can trust and with whom you feel comfortable talking about your feelings about all of this -- preferably someone who understands your attachment to your dogs and who knows something about normal grief. You do not need to wait until after the fact. Many people who come to my pet loss support group are dealing with anticipatory grief and come to the group before their animal's death or euthanasia. It helps them to sort through their reactions and make necessary decisions, and it helps them to feel supported in their journey. Ask your vet what pet loss resources might be available in your community, or check with your local librarian in addition to exploring online resources supporting you.

I hope this information proves useful to you, my friend. Please know that I'm thinking of you, and when you feel ready to do so, I hope that you will let me know how you're doing.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty Tousley, Bereavement Counselor

Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT, DCC is the creator and instructor of these Self-Healing Expressions courses. Click these links to learn more about Marty and her grief-healing courses.
A Different Grief: Coping with Pet Loss
A Different Grief: Helping You and Your Children with Pet Loss
The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey.


Copyright © 2004 – 2009 Martha M. Tousley. All rights reserved. If you are interested in publishing this article, please email .


If you've ever been faced with making this difficult decision for a beloved animal companion, please share your experiences with the rest of us...

Previous Comments, 2007 – Sept. 2012

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