"Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions."
~ Great Sufi Master Hafiz (1320-1389)
EVERYDAY FEARBUSTING
By Chelle Thompson
It's important, I find, to recall and reuse old tools that have proven helpful in difficult
situations in the past. Sometimes we think we've moved so far forward that a
"Been there,
done that!" attitude clouds our memory and limits our options. Fear is an ongoing challenge
in this world so we need all the assistance we can muster.
Humor as a Fear-buster
Humor
has been a fantastic form of fearbusting for me ... whenever I can find,
and laugh at, the
irony or absurdity in a "crisis" situation, my inner peace is generally restored. The
initial breakthrough in my relationship with my mother came when I realized that the
seemingly hurtful things she would say were outlandish enough to make great standup
comedy lines. I stopped taking it personally, saw the humor and rescued myself from
that fearful enmeshment.
Release Fear by Facing Truth
Another successful approach for me has been releasing expectations and
fear by facing the TRUTH
An analogy that I created several years ago joins with the
healing power of humor
to facilitate this process:
Many family, romantic and other relationship scenarios can be likened to buying a puppy at
a pet shop. The store is out of puppies, so we settle for a duck (or we are a puppy born
into a duck family). All the time we're with this duck, we keep hoping that it will bark,
fetch, roll over and act
like a puppy. When we become clear that this is never going to
happen, we can release the impossible expectations we've been holding (for quacking and
waddling are simply
what a duck does). Then we can re-empower ourselves by choosing
whatever action feels right in the clear light of Truth. This dissolves the drama and
offers a window of transformation for all involved.
In 1991 I left a successful career in the Los Angeles area, leased out my house with
everything in it, and moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico, where I knew no one. As time went
on, the tenants moved from my house, and I was told that the declining California real
estate market at the time made the property "unsellable." Persistent fears of
whether my bank account could hold out longer than it would take my house to sell were
almost overwhelming.
My Fear-relief Formula
After a string of sleepless nights, I finally discovered a fear-relief formula that worked.
I envisioned every aspect of how it would look, feel, smell, taste and sound for my house to sell.
I "heard" the realtor's voice over the phone telling me we had an offer; I
"saw" myself flying to California; I heard and saw the buyers as we did a final walkthrough;
I felt the check in my hand; I smelled the exhaust of the yellow rental truck after we loaded
up my stuff; I tasted the teriyaki celebration dinner at Benihana's Restaurant in Marina del
Rey; and I saw myself being fully immersed in my motivational project in Santa Fe with no
distracting ties elsewhere.
The house went on the market October 4, 1992. There was just one offer submitted on
October 22nd (for almost the asking price), and escrow closed December 4th. It was the
ONLY house my realtor sold that month. (She said she knew it would happen though, because
she could feel my belief in it.)
All fear is a case of forgotten identity.
Most things we
fear
are the result of a lack of trust and failure to acknowledge our own innate power. My hope
for everyone is beautifully said by the Great Sufi Master Hafiz (1320-1389),
"Fear is
the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions."
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About the Author
Chelle Thompson is the owner and editor of
Inspiration Line's
ezine. Her background in philosophy, motivational speaking, recovery counseling, international
travel writing and theology provide Inspiration Line with a diversified and insightful foundation.
Visit
www.inspirationline.com
to learn more.
