For the Goddess In You

Friends Help Us Heal, and Connect to Our Feminine Spirit

By Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway

Good friends help us express our true selves and find our path in life. They hold up a mirror that shows us who we truly are … and they encourage us to be more than we think we can be!

A landmark UCLA study of female friendships confirms the healing power of women's friendships. "Female Responses To Stress: Tend and Befriend, Not Fight or Flight," published in Psychological Review in 2000, said gathering with friends in a nurturing way lowers the stress and strain of daily life. Rather that the typical "fight or flight" response believed to be triggered in people under stress, the study suggested women have a more expansive repertoire of behaviors. We release brain chemicals that urge us to gather with other women, as well as tend children (or others). The more time spent with friends, the more oxytocin is released -- not just counter acting stress but inspiring a sense of calm and well-being.

Safe Harbor in Friendship
When women find a safe harbor in friendship with others, it also helps us connect to the power of our feminine spirit in a profound and deeply life enhancing way.

In the nineties, when I was the editor-in-chief of a national magazine, I invited a group of girl friends who worked in media together for a night of spirituality and girl talk. They were each fascinating, spiritual woman with high-powered careers. It felt very natural to call the evening "A Gathering of Goddesses." Everyone loved the idea, because it made us connect immediately with the idea that we are Goddesses - beautiful, smart, powerful, able to effect change in our world. We so enjoyed each other's companionship and support that first night; we decided to turn it into a monthly event. For over two years, we gathered every month to schmooze and share our stories, ending each meeting with a sacred circle in which we each took turns lighting a candle, articulating our dreams and goals and saying a prayer. We would bear witness to one another's most pressing goals in life, and we would share the vision that all these dreams would come true. Indeed, many of them did.

Media Goddesses
Because we were journalists, radio personalities, performers, TV spokespeople and authors, I nick-named the group "Media Goddesses." It was in the course of facilitating these gatherings that I discovered my new calling as an interfaith minister, and I stepped onto a professional path of facilitating women's spiritual evolution. Having the chance to gather with other women in a loving and mutually supportive way changed all of our lives. We grew and empowered each other to grow more, and, six years later, we continue to share a lasting bond. We still love to get together and, although meetings are less frequent, they are no less sacred and meaningful.

When I began calling my fabulous female friends "goddesses" I never thought twice about there being an "actual" Goddess; and I knew nothing about goddess history. Yet the experience moved me to study and seek more information. I was amazed to find that in addition to goddesses of ancient times, there are so many cultures that actually continue to worship the feminine divine; and that the language of the feminine was hidden between the lines of traditional religion.

I began to see that viewing divinity as both masculine and feminine empowered women's self esteem -- we could see ourselves mirrored in the image of the Divine because there was a She that looked like us. And also, even though many of us were fairly assertive, hard working professional women who obviously called on both male and female energies to do our work in the world, there was so much inspiration stirred up in our little group I truly did feel we were connecting to a greater source and I interpreted that source as a divinely feminine spirit.

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

My goddess friends brought the Divine Feminine to life for me. I learned to see the goddess in me because I was seeing it so clearly in the women I love and admire. I believe that celebrating the goddess in each other helped us all connect to the feminine power within. We were so empowered by the mutual support and spirit of the group that we all came to express ourselves more authentically … and to bring that energy out into the world in our daily lives and our work in media.

Having a special group of Goddesses in human form in my life made all the difference on my life journey. My media goddess sisters have been spiritual cheerleaders. They've continually reminded me of who I am. In our connection with one another, we have been privileged to share a scared bond that has helped us all do our part to bring healing to the world.

I made a declaration at one of our meetings that I would dedicate myself to empowering women to get to know the goddess within them, and inspire women to gather together in sacred circles to help change their lives, and do their part in changing the world. That dream began to truly reach fruition when my book A Goddess Is A Girl's Best Friend was published. At the book party (at The Muse Hotel in New York, no less!), my goddess group was there, cheering me on and helping to make the evening a divine success.

If there is any time in history that women, and our world, can benefit from gathering, it is now. Whether sharing a meal and some girl talk, a night out, or coming together to pray for peace, life will change in leaps and bounds the first day you call a bunch of friends together for "a gathering of goddesses."

Copyright © 2003 Reverend Laurie Sue Brockway . All rights reserved. If you are interested in publishing this article, please email .


About the Author

Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is an author, teacher and contemporary clergy person specializing in matters of the heart and soul. She is creator and instructor of Create Your Romantic Resumé: A 30-Day Program to Transform Your Romantic Destiny, an email course available exclusively at www.SelfhealingExpressions.com. She is The Romance Reverend ~ Soulful Love columnist for www.SoulfulLiving.com. And author of A Goddess Is a Girl's Best Friend: A Divine Guide To Finding Love, Success and Happiness (Perigee Books, December 2002).




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