An interview with Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
(Find Part 1 of this interview here.)
What do you mean by “getting ready for love”?
As you explore a new pathway to love, intimacy and partnership, it’s important to know what you are really ready for and looking for. For example, some people say they want to get married, when what they really want is to be proposed to or have a wedding. Some believe they are ready for true love, when they have yet to heal enough from a broken heart or pain from the last relationship. It could be that ultimately you want love, marriage and a baby carriage, but that in the immediate future it would serve you to focus on your own personal growth and healing; that you need to make yourself ready for love.
What is one spiritual way to attract our soul mate?
Say a little prayer. Studies show that prayers help heal those who are suffering and that people who pray live longer, happier, more balanced lives. Why not say a little prayer in the name of love. Do it every day for 30 days and see how you feelings about love change. I guarantee that if you focus on love you will be feeling love, closer and closer, everyday.
Do people get anxious during the process of getting ready for love?
Transformation is a process. Like the beautiful butterfly that begins as a caterpillar, it is so important to honor the nature of change in your life. People may be anxious to meet their true love, and maybe even antsy to get to the end of my Soulmate eCourse. But there may be a time period, between the start and finish of creating your romantic resume that you find yourself in a stage of incubation. That is because when you are in the process of transformation, you do not always see the transformation that is occurring; and sometimes you feel as if nothing is happening. In fact, you may be the last person to know that your life has truly changed!
What is your stand on romantic fantasies?
I am all for them, if they are healthy and move your love project along. But, do “a reality check” on your own head! Is it filled with certain images of what love is, or what it can be, based on unrealistic fantasies that you wouldn’t even want to live out in real life, even if you could? For example, would you really want to be a princess trapped in a tower and rescued by a handsome prince? …Or, a toad that is transformed by one kiss from the “right girl?” Probably not. So double check outdated fantasies about love and rescue.
How can you know when you are ready for true love?
Everyone’s needs, desires and motivations are personal and individual. Ask yourself:
- Are you up for a monogamy and commitment?
- Are you just interested in shopping around at the moment?
- Do you want to just have some fun and attract some “test drive” relationships so you so you can get “practice?”Do you want to be “in love”, but not engaged in the reality of a day-to-day relationship?
- Do you know there is a difference?
- If true love knocked on your door, would you recognize the knock? Would you really, really, really want to open the door?
If you are honest with yourself about where you are now (your starting point), it will lead you onto a path that occurs naturally and at the “right” time for both you and your yet-to-be-known beloved. It gives you a chance to transform, evolve and make changes that make you more ready for real love.
Do former relationships count?
Of course. They give you insight into how you are hardwired. You have to understand your own worldview of relationships. This includes your personal view of what a relationship is, what a relationship can be, and what a relationship has been. This is as personal as a fingerprint. Until you identify it, it can be a subconscious road map that draws certain relationships to you – for better or for worse. Identifying your point of view brings it to light in your conscious mind and allow you to see your own relationship M.O. [modus operandi] and any unconscious repetitive patterns that drive you.
Should we dwell on past relationships to try to figure them out?
The past is a stepping stones to the future. You need to go back in time a little bit, but as an observer. Why? Because it is not uncommon for people to initiate new relationships based on long-running relationship patterns, or to choose mates based on the ones that came before–and, originally, based on our parents! Recognize what you loved about former mates, as well as what went awry in your romantic past, and utilize those insights to make appropriate new choices. You might just find that this process gives a whole new sense of direction to your love life. You can begin to create a new vision for how you will experience your next relationship–including any desired alterations of your behavior!
What if you’ve been hurt a lot?
The first step to healing yourself from the pain and disappointment of relationships past is to shine a light on these things. Letting go can always be a bit sad but you must remember that in each ending dwells a new beginning. The Romantic Resume process helps your assess and admit the problems you faced, and, ultimately, make a choice about how you want things to be in the future. This is not an exercise in self-judgment or in judging your ex’s. Acknowledge the emotions that arise – your feelings also provide a lot of information – but hold the intention that you are moving through this and you will come out of this truly ready for new love!
© Laurie Sue Brockway. All rights reserved.
Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway is an author, teacher and contemporary clergy person who specializes in matters of the heart and soul. She has spent almost three decades researching the elements of successful relationships – attraction, sexuality, romance, commitment, love and the urgings of the soul. Her teachings focus on: how to get ready for love, finding your soul mate, as well as leading couple’s in love to the altar.Her Soulmate eCourse, Find Your Spiritual Soul Mate, is available exclusively through SelfHealingExpressions.com. She is also author of Your Interfaith Wedding, Wedding Goddess, The Goddess Pages, Pet Prayers and Blessings, and the a number of eBooks including, Rituals for Love and Romance and Just Ask Lakshmi.