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Online Grief Courses by Hospice Bereavement Counselor
The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey
Understand the nature of grief and loss and their potential impact on all aspects of your life: physical,
financial, emotional, social and spiritual. Learn how to move through grief actively and
make the process of mourning a healing one. Find support and guidance in dealing with
the many facets of grief.
Dear Marty ~ How Does a Family Know When to Contact Hospice?
Q & A by Bereavement Counselor Marty Tousley
Question:
I hope I am not crossing any lines, or breaking any rules, but I need some advice. I have found so much help in your
Grief Healing
site
and weekly
Self Healing
lessons
[online grief course]
I also find great comfort in "chatting" with all the wonderful people on the
website.
I e-mailed you a while back and told you about my parents. My mother died this past December and my dad has been in the hospital since mid-December. They are releasing my dad this week and we are searching for a nursing home. Here is my problem: My brother and his wife feel so strongly about getting hospice involved. (They live in another state and are not here to help me.) We waited too long with my mom and she died before we contacted hospice. I am not getting any opinion from my dad's doctor about how much time he has left. I know they don't know that for certain. My question is how do we know when to contact hospice? Can they help us if my dad is in a nursing home? What exactly would they do, if my dad is in a nursing home? My brother wants to find an in-patient hospice, but I don't know if that is the way to go. Any advice or information you can tell me would be great. Thank you so much.
Marty's Response:
Your question about hospice is not at all unusual. Most of us don't even think about such matters until circumstances force us to do so. Not all doctors are informed about hospice and end-of-life care, either, so I'm glad you came to me with your questions, and I'll do my best to help.
First, I suggest you do a bit of reading, so you'll feel more certain about the course of action you decide to take. I want to refer you to a site (Hospice Foundation of America) that I think you'll find quite helpful. See especially these pages:
What is Hospice?
Myths and Facts about Hospice
Hospice Patients and Staff
Hospice Stories: How Hospice Can Help
As to your specific questions:
How do we know when to contact hospice?
You can contact hospice at any time, simply because you want to discuss future plans. In order for your dad to be placed in hospice care, our present health care system requires that you will need a physician's certification that your dad is in need of hospice care. But the hospice you select will be able to guide you in how to go about obtaining that. (To locate a hospice service in your own community, go to
Locate a Hospice)
Can they help us if my dad is in a nursing home?
As stated on HFA's Web site, "Hospice is not a place but a concept of care. Eighty percent of hospice care is provided in the patient's home, family member's home and in nursing homes. Inpatient hospice facilities are sometimes available to assist with caregiving." When you contact both a hospice and a nursing home for your dad, state that you are anticipating the need for hospice services for your father, and ask how they would go about providing such services in their facility.
What exactly do they do, if my dad is in a nursing home?
This depends on what your father needs, based on a thorough assessment by the hospice team. Once you call in a particular hospice, someone from that service would meet with you and your dad to conduct such an initial interview and assessment, and then they would present you with whatever they recommend.
My brother wants to find an in-patient hospice, but I don't know if that is the way to go.
Your father may not be in need of this level of care just yet. Again, this is best determined by the hospice team who would conduct the initial assessment.
For further information, including answers to frequently asked questions about hospice and palliative care, visit the
Hospice
page at Caring Connections, a program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization.
I hope I've pointed you toward the information you need, my dear. Once you've followed up on some of these suggestions, or if I've left any questions unanswered, please do let me know.
Love and blessings to you and your dear father, and please know that I am thinking of you.
Wishing you peace and healing,
Marty Tousley, CNS-BC,
FT,
DCC
Copyright © 2007 Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT. All rights reserved. If you are interested in publishing this article, please email
.
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