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Insomnia Relief ~ Grief Recovery
The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey
Understand the nature of grief and loss and their potential impact on all aspects of your life: physical,
financial, emotional, social and spiritual. Learn how to move through grief actively and
make the process of mourning a healing one. Find support and guidance in dealing with
the many facets of grief.
Dear Marty ~ Coping with Sleeplessness in Grief
Q & A by Bereavement Counselor Marty Tousley
Question: I just received the first lesson for
The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey.
My mom died last August after 5 years in a nursing home and losing her right leg 2 years ago, and my dog had cataract surgery in September . . . there were many problems with the left eye, and about a month ago her left eye was removed. She is doing fine now but it was all so stressful. I have had insomnia - no trouble falling asleep but only sleep for an hour or two. I have tried everything I can think of and my doctor prescribed Sonata but so far that hasn't worked. Do you have any suggestions? I will be forever grateful to anyone who can help me get some sleep.
Answer: I'm so very sorry to learn of the death of your mother this past August, as well as the stresses of coping with your dog's eye problems. I appreciate your taking
my online grief course,
and I sincerely hope it will bring you comfort as well as some useful information. You've asked for suggestions to help you get some sleep, and I'm afraid I don't have any magic potions in my pocket that I can send you -- but I will offer what I can.
First, it's important to know that disruptions in usual sleep patterns are very common in the first weeks and months of grief, so what you are experiencing is quite normal, given your circumstances and the stress of coping with your dog's illness.
It may help if you try using the methods you already know to be tried and true. I've included the following suggestions in one of the
lessons in my grief course
that you will be receiving soon (Lesson 3, Physical Reactions to Loss), but I will list them here so you won't have to wait:
- Cut back on your caffeine intake.
- Get moderate exercise later in the day.
- Avoid medications and alcohol which can offer only a temporary escape; have serious side effects; affect motor coordination and mental acuity; lead to dependency; magnify feelings of depression; and disrupt patterns of sleep. (To learn more about sleep medications and how to get a better night's sleep without them, see
Sleep Tips for Successful Sleep).
- Drink a cup of warm milk or water at bedtime (plain milk is a natural sedative).
- Take a relaxing bath or warm shower before bed.
- Put on a night-light.
- Stick to a regular routine: retire and get up at same time each day.
- Follow a deep relaxation routine; perform deep breathing exercises in bed.
- Listen to music that soothes your soul and decreases tension.
- Visualize being in your most favorite and pleasant place.
Another thing you might try in those hours at night when you cannot sleep: go online and read some of the beautiful inspirational writings posted on the
Comfort for Grieving Hearts
page of my
Grief Healing
Web site. Visit our online
Grief Healing Discussion Groups
and read some of the messages posted in the forums there - and become a member if you like.
There is nothing better for insomnia than exploring the Web in the middle of the night - if you're very selective in the places you choose to visit. I can assure you that you will be in very good company, because you will find lots of other grieving people - who are also unable to sleep - out there with you.
Wishing you peace and healing,
Marty Tousley, Bereavement Counselor
Marty Tousley is the creator and instructor of the Self-Healing
Expressions course
The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey.
Click button to learn more about Marty and her grief-healing course.
Copyright © 2005 – 2008 Marty Tousley. All rights reserved. If you are
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