Are You Facing The Loss Of A Beloved Pet?
Explore both the myths and the realities surrounding the experience of pet loss, including why it hurts so much and how it differs from other losses in this Self-Healing Expressions email course.
Are you anticipating or mourning the loss of your pet, and surprised and even overwhelmed at the depth of your grief? The lessons in this course are designed both to help you understand and cope with the grief of losing your pet,
and to guide you towards meaningful growth, healing and inspiration. Come to a better understanding of the emotional upheaval caused by the shock, disbelief, anger, guilt and sorrow that are commonly experienced when a beloved pet is lost. Learn meaningful ways to memorialize your faithful friend. You deserve to feel comforted, understood and acknowledged as a person in grief, and reassurance that you are normal and healthy in loving your faithful animal friend so deeply.
Question: I am a veterinarian and would like to memorialize the pets we have lost in the past year. Does this seem appropriate, and do you have any specific suggestions which could be helpful? I plan to plant a tree and maybe provide a garden stone marker engraved with the lost pet's name, but beyond that I'm open to suggestions.
Marty Tousley, CNS-BC, FT, DCC, responds: I think your idea of memorializing lost pets is most appropriate, and I applaud you for your sensitivity and caring. I'd like to offer some suggestions and point you to some resources that might be helpful to you as you develop this wonderful plan, and if I can be of any further assistance, please let me know.
As a bereavement counselor, I can tell you that planning and participating in a pet's funeral or memorial service can bring great satisfaction to those who mourn the loss of a cherished companion animal. Such a service makes the fact of the death more real to the bereaved (including the veterinary staff), gives staff and family members the opportunity to express their thoughts and feelings about the lost pet, and enables everyone to reflect on and acknowledge the important role the animal played in their lives.
Unlike a funeral, a memorial service may be held at any time after the pet's death, and its function is to remember and to celebrate the loved animal's life. Oftentimes the mood is positive and uplifting. A service for a much loved companion can be as small and private or as open and elaborate as a person or family wishes, and a memorial service can be delayed as long as its planning requires. Having a yearly memorial service for all the pets you've lost in the past year is fine. Keep in mind, however, that having a service closer to the time when the loss is most deeply felt is when it is most likely to help participants express and work through their grief.
Finally, any one of these ideas listed below may spark your own imagination as you think of ways to memorialize the pets you've lost in your practice, and may help you help your clients plan their own private memorial rituals as well:
Reminisce with staff members or clients who knew the pets you want to memorialize. Talk about the funny or silly (or annoying!) habits these animals had. Such reflections will help you plan your own unique ceremony of remembrance, and will help you express and work through your grief as well.
Invite clients to bring snapshots of their deceased pets and post them on a memorial bulletin board in your office or clinic.
Encourage your clients to make a special place in their own home, yard or workplace that acknowledges and honors their pet's life – a place where they can go (or be) and remember their lost friend. Remind them that the death of their pet is a natural event and an occasion for the honest expression of their feelings and their values.
I hope I've answered your questions, my friend. Obviously I think there is great benefit in memorializing the pets you have lost in your veterinary practice, and I will support you in any way I can.
