Are You Facing The Loss Of A Beloved Pet?
Explore both the myths and the realities surrounding the experience of pet loss, including why it
hurts so much and how it differs from other losses in this Self-Healing Expressions email course.
Are you anticipating or mourning the loss of your pet, and surprised
and even overwhelmed at the depth of your grief? The lessons in this course
are designed both to help you understand and cope with the grief of losing your pet,
and to guide you towards meaningful growth, healing and inspiration. Come to a better
understanding of the emotional upheaval caused by the shock, disbelief, anger,
guilt and sorrow that are commonly experienced when a beloved pet is lost. Learn
meaningful ways to memorialize your faithful friend. You deserve to feel comforted,
understood and acknowledged as a person in grief, and reassurance that you are
normal and healthy in loving your faithful animal friend so deeply.
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Dear Marty ~ Is it okay to cremate a pet? Q & A by Bereavement Counselor Marty Tousley
Question: I lost my sweet cat just this week, and I'm so confused as to what I should do! My vet is holding his body right now in a freezer. I have an appointment to have him cremated on Tuesday and I will witness it to make certain that it is his remains that I get back, but in the last few days I have heard that it is not good to destroy the body if possible, because when the body/spirit is renewed it should be intact.
If there is a place or way that we see each other again, I don't want to ruin the chances of it happening by doing the wrong thing. Please help me, I'm afraid and don't know what to do. If you can respond before Tuesday afternoon I would be very appreciative - if not, that's okay too - I just thought I would try. Thank you.
P.S. The reason I wasn't planning to bury him was because I don't know how long I will be living here at the place I'm at now. All my other pets were at my mom's because they all lived there during their lives, but this cat was with me after I moved out on my own. He never knew that home, and I felt it wasn't right to bury him somewhere he hadn't lived.
Answer: I'm so sorry to learn of the death of your sweet cat this past week. I can only imagine how devastated you must feel, and how empty and lonely your home must seem without his physical presence there.
You say you're struggling with whether to have your cat's body cremated, for fear that doing so will somehow prevent his spirit and body to be renewed in the afterlife. Of course that is a matter of religious or spiritual belief which I am not qualified to answer for you. I can tell you that, if you do decide to have your cat cremated, your being present for the cremation is the best way to make certain that the cremains that are returned to you really are those of your cat. You can also take comfort in knowing that your kitty's cremains will be with you always. I will share with you that when my own beloved Muffin (a darling cockapoo) was hit by a car and had to be euthanized in 1986, I had no idea what to do with his body either. We ended up burying his body in our backyard in New Jersey - but of course the time eventually came when we moved to Arizona, and I cannot tell you how difficult it was for us to leave his grave behind.
Just as it was for you and your cat, when this happened to our beloved dog it came right out of the blue. We were totally unprepared to even think about our dog as dead much less know what to do with his body. So we did what made sense to us at the time. And over time, this led me to create the online course,
A Different Grief: Coping with Pet Loss,
which includes detailed information on arranging after-death care for companion animals.
I want animal lovers like myself to recognize that sooner or later they will lose their animals to death (after all, their life span is far shorter than our own). I want them to know that they are responsible for deciding what to do with their animals' remains after death, and they ought not to wait until they are in the throes of
overwhelming grief
to decide what they want to do with their cherished animals after they die, when they are not in the best position or frame of mind to make such difficult and unpleasant decisions. See the
Pet Loss Links / Memorializing page
on my
Grief Healing Web site
for links to dozens of sites that offer some wonderful and creative ways of remembering your precious animal companion. You are limited only by your own imagination.
I hope that in time you will come to see that regardless of what you decide to do with your pet's remains, the love and the bond that you have with him will be with you always, and the memories you have of his life with you will remain in your heart forever, just as long as you choose to keep those precious memories alive.
I don't think there are any right or wrong decisions here - you simply have to do the best you can with the information you have available to you at the time, given your own unique circumstances and resources. And you do what you think you can live with later. Based on those criteria, it seems to me that your decision to have your cat's body cremated is a very sensible one.
I hope what I've said is helpful to you. Regardless of what you decide to do, though, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
